Wednesday, October 12, 2011

When you realize you want... spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. 

I think of Harry saying this to Sally every time some one asks about why Luis and I are getting married so early, so young, so soon.  I'm really not sure why people think it is alright to be so critical (or blatantly rude) to a young(ish) bride.  Being engaged at 22 and married at 24 is not terribly common anymore, but I'm not child bride.  Just because your comment is preceded by "Congratulations!" does not mean that you then have the freedom to say whatever you want.  My five favorite comments have been:

1) OMG! ARE YOU pregnant?!  Seriously, why do you even bother talking in a fake whisper?  We can all hear your rudeness.  No, we're not having a baby.  We're getting married so that we can have a family in the (not so ) distant (but still definitely in the) future.  Even it I was pregnant, what business is it of yours?  If I haven't told you about my pregnancy, you haven't seen me scarfing down pickles and ice-cream, or I'm not sporting a belly the size of a basketball, don't you dare ask if I'm pregnant.  Bottom line: I'm not, so stop being so effing nosy.

2) What do your/his parents think?!  They are just as excited as we are, thank you very much.  They all know and love us/one another, think it's great that they've raised responsible adults that are taking the next step in their relationship, and don't care that we haven't reached the average "age at marriage."  

3) Don't you want to live your life?  Luis is not going to stop me from living my life in anyway.  He enriches my life just as I thought our friendship did up until you asked that question.  I have big dreams and plans and ideas;  Luis supports me in EVERYTHING that I do.  Marriage is a celebration of life and love, not my freedom's funeral.  I want to go to Thailand with Luis, I want to take cooking lessons with Luis, I want to live life with Luis everyday.  See the trend?  

4) So you're just going to be a housewife?  Umm no.  I have a job, am getting my master's degree, and am actively searching for a new and better job.  When we have a family, I'll probably be a mostly-stay-at-home-mom.  Luis didn't say I had to - in fact he had no expectations about what I'd want to do.  We came to the decision together that this will most likely be the best solution for our family.  Yes, it kind of sucks that his career comes before mine in this aspect (because he will be the primary bread winner), but the big picture is our family will be our number one priority.  Plus, I'm selfish and want to be the one who gets to be with our (future) totally awesome kids.  It's a privilege and a choice.  

5)  Are you sure?  ..... Are. you. serious.   Obviously I'm sure or I wouldn't have said yes.  When you know, you know.  It's simple and easy and so, so right.  Luis and I make each other happy.  Please respect our happiness by never asking me that again.  

I'm so blessed to realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with Luis and I truly do want the rest of my life to start as soon as possible.  So I would appreciate it if people would just realize that.  Any one else ever receive some unexpected advice/questions/comments after sharing major news?  

No comments:

Post a Comment